Tonight, after teaching an online class, I went to a sometimes friend for a late dinner. She maneuvered the restaurant . . . a place I cannot really afford.
In essence, she has been out of touch for a year. Too much going on in her life. Major changes in both the private and professional spheres.
But now she is feeling free. Happy. Rejuvenated. And a little too much of both.
In the main, I was happy to see her feeling so well. As far as I could tell she had finally begun to live the Mary Oliver dictum: You do not have to be good.
Without the pressure to do good at her job or for her family, she was out and free.
Great.
But mostly she talked through what I said. She did the same to the mutual friend who joined us. And when she made a point she brought her hand down on the table, as other guests noted.
No major transgression to my wallet or my ego or to others eating nearby, but not what I think of as joyful either
Because joy should draw people to you, be a gift as well as a possession.
So here's the homework: Make every attempt to offer someone your best joy the next time you see them.
If you want the advanced version, ask a friend or acquaintance: Am I here with you or here for you?
There’s a difference.
Ted