Though he is not responsible for this expression of it, I am stealing this “life protocol” from Rafe.
For your issues, decisions, and so forth:
Get clear
Find the size
Generate a “how?”
About clarity:
Why do you want that different job, to move or get that degree? Are you following the programming of some inner demon? A confused impulse? The need to impress?
And clarity is not so much a point but a practice, both of reflection (a journal, a routine walk in the woods, scheduled talks with a mentor) and clarifying action (volunteering, a long weekend of doing nothing, meeting new people).
Is this thing giant-sized or tiny? Are you paying a $1000 fine in worry and guilt for a $10 mistake? Does it matter as much as you think to change jobs or find a new place to live? Would the biggest thing you could actually do for yourself be to get more exercise? Not every mountain is the same size and some will serve your well-being more than others. Partition your attention and energy accordingly.
As for your “how,” write it out and talk it out and get others to help both the figuring and the doing. Embarrassingly small steps are good as is re-directing when you get new evidence. Things take time and often the most rewarding part of having a how is not where you end up but feeling yourself on the move. Progress of any size feels good. It also lends clarity and helps you size up the next thing.
I might add to Rafe’s protocol what I would call a sense of joyful narrative. Maybe that just means “contemporary Zen” or “being grateful.” That is, you are clear you want to move and you size it up to do in the summer and you’ve got your “how” all set but then the new place turns out to have terrible neighbors and you decide you gotta bail from the new home much sooner than planned. Bummer.
But hey, all that packing forced you to actually consider what stuff you care about and who could predict that because of the slog to move again you meet your future partner? (No one, but that’s pretty much what happened to a friend of mine.)
You're never going to get it completely right and nothing about tomorrow is certain. There are always other narratives available, including ones that are much worse, so look for the good parts of the one you are living and keep working to get clear, size your thing up, and follow a generative “how.”