I am sorry I have not been writing here of late.
I know that’s not professional or cool.
I am breaking a promise to myself and to you.
Usually, I know what to write about, and usually writing helps bring some order to the chaos of life.
Of late, though, I have been working sixteen-hour days at a school I love but which has lost its way.
Damn it, I think school as a whole has lost its way.
How do you gather smart people, young and old, with nothing to do but be curious and learn from one another and turn that into a vessel of stress, competition, pettiness, and formula?
The norm around the world is that a campus is where people trudge rather than skip. Why?
And this campus is in a country that, after ending apartheid and offering a beacon to the world, now cannot keep the lights on.
It is hard to watch the wattage of hope fade.
In three weeks, my teaching gig here is done and I will depart one-third happy to be getting out, two-thirds wishing I could do—could have done—better.
I have little idea of where I will be going, but I will try to write more often.
I do not think I am the only one who is lost.
Ted
Dougald,
I would go back too. I think "smart kids" etc is just a misnomer. I mean that one goes to schools where everyone sees themselves as capable (end everyone is fed and safe, etc) and still we end up trudging rather than skipping.
I love the Andreotti story. All too true. All of this reminds me of this thing I sometimes say that the job of the new boss is to say "I am not doing anything, how can I help." That is, if the head of school was sitting in the quad reading a book rather than obsessing over assessments and matriculation, more people would see the miracle of a hummingbird.
It is not obligation that makes me want to write or apologize for not doing so--though I appreciative the reprieve--it is belief in practice. At most things I am fairly forgiving of myself, and fairly suspicious of consistency. But in this case I would like to more routine.
The larger issues of what school should and could be, why they were created and what parents, students and others expect are all subjects for another time.
Thanks, as always, for reading and for such a thoughtful, eloquent, comment.
Oh man, you're right about all that except feeling bad or under the obligation to write. I notice the quiet spells from people and if they're worth it, I guess, I think about what may be going on. If it happens enough times, I check in. I think that's all good.