Yesterday I wrote briefly about Seth Godin, pointing out that he is at everything than I am at anything.
In particular, he is better at the things we have in common.
When I was in graduate school one of my professors said that all of his colleagues would have been able to say who was smartest in the department, who second smartest, and so on.
On a team roster of eighteen, I was once clearly the seventeenth best player. Clearly superior to eighteen and barely playable compared to sixteen.
Knowing your rank in an absolute sense (not Seth, not as smart as my colleague, better than the last guy on the bench but only he) can be liberating.
A common struggle people have when they do something—write, paint, play music, apply for a job—is to stop themselves because they can easily see someone else who is better.
Right, you will never compose anything half so well as Shakespeare.
You can grouse about that or accept your fate and just go ahead and do your thing.
There’s no point in thinking yourself tiny compared to the mountain. Enjoy the view of the peak and get climbing.
Similarly, if you find yourself playing basketball against Giannis Antetekumpo or tennis against whomever just won Wimbledon, you are gonna lose. By a lot. By everything to nothing. It will be utterly humiliating, unless you enjoy the vista their distance offer you rather than spending your time comparing yourself to them.
One way for me to approach Godin is to learn what I can from him, take that onto myself as best I can and tip my hat to all he has done so well. This is to see him as a model and path clearer for me, which he is.
Another is to look up to him not as a model but as that peak.
Am I ever gonna get there?
No, but that distance gives me air to breathe rather than oppressive thoughts of not being good enough. I lose to him, everything to nothing, but in that is a landscape of excellence, a playful way to enjoy the giant valley between us.
All this said, I know I have not much addressed how painful and crippling comparison can be. More on that tomorrow.